The "Should" Syndrome

Someone once told me that I should really smile more... I remember having a full spectrum of emotions and responses to that statement but instead of saying anything I just smiled. The irony... 

There are a lot of powers and forces in our daily life that tell us that we SHOULD be doing this or SHOULD be doing that. These voices can come from outside us or within us. But regardless of where these should’s come from, “the shoulds” never touch our true essence.  They have nothing to do with honoring our values or living our life purposefully.

What I realized later was this person wanted me to smile so that it would make them comfortable. A lot of situations have this sort of effect. “Should” implies that what you’re doing is not enough and there is a better way to act in order to conform or fit into other people’s ideas about who YOU are. “Shoulds” are heavy burdens we all carry around. Wether we listen to them determines the weight of the load. The “shoulds” are the voices of our saboteurs. They are not interested in helping you grow.

So start counting the “shoulds”, the people they show up around, the situations they breed in. We can’t always get rid of them but not listening to them can mean taking a strong stand for yourself.

Jamie Lugo