DON'T BLAME THE WIND
The other day, my husband and I repotted a few plants in my apartment. We discovered that one of the plants had pretty weak roots. It’s this huge tree but the roots were somehow really small and unstable. So we attempted to solve the problem the best way we know how - Google. We researched how to make the roots of a tree stronger and more stable. Interestingly enough, one of the recommendations to strengthen the roots was to put the tree outside in the wind and let it get tussled around. Because the more it leans right and left the stronger that the roots will be.
We both looked at each other and had this “WOW” moment because that is such a huge and incredible metaphor for our lives and our other plants. We’ve been trying to keep our plants out of adversity for years. Not too much AC, we keep them out of too much all day sun and make sure that they have just the right about of water and plant food. BUT, as I am reminded, we humans are just plants. The more we get tussled around the more flexible and strong we actually get. The more rooted we become in who we are the less bullshit (wind) bothers us.
So what are your roots as an individual? Our roots have to do with our values. The non-negotiables in our lives. The things that if we did not have, we would not be able to live a fulfilled life. These things can be time alone or yoga or good wine or authentic connection or exercising every day. While we can all have similar values we don’t all have the same values and this is when our trees get tossed around... For, example I have a huge value around time so when other people are late or when I am late I feel like a huge part of me has been stepped on. I am frazzled I feel like a literal tree and a windstorm. It really messes me up. While it’s a really powerful thing to identify what your roots are and what your values are so that you can strengthen them, we can’t go through life expecting other people to live up to our personal values. It’s our responsibility to strengthen and honor our own values.
So what DO we do when someone’s messing with our roots? Instead of blaming the other person, kind of like blaming in the wind, we can focus on how to make our roots stronger even when we feel like we’re getting tossed about. So say you have huge values of creativity and acknowledgement and someone at work told you that your idea wasn’t good enough for the proposal. While that fucking sucks, if you start to believe them ]]=or become resentful of them, you will just weaken your own foundation. So you find another way to honor your own creativity. Go take an art class put together a project on your own do whatever you need to do to fully honor that important part of you. Also, thank the person or situation that tossed you around because they showed you what’s important to you.